Please pardon my extended absence, we have been in the process of moving and have had a bit of drama with our FTM. When my child came out a little over a year ago last August before school started I moved across town for a few reasons. One being closer to work and avoiding the daily commute, (traffic in my part of the world is horrendous!) Two, my oldest son was a senior in high school and had moved in with his Dad two years ago when I remarried, and he plays basketball and I wanted to be closer to him. Third, I was separating from my husband who was having a meltdown after his businesses tanked along with the rest of the housing market. Don’t get me wrong, that’s not why I left it was really that we didn’t know each other, we certainly didn’t like each other. We didn’t get along, everything I did annoyed him and we had no intimacy. So it was really a combination of things there coupled with the fact that we had entirely different views on my transgendered child. The final and fourth reason I moved was to give my child a fresh start a school where he didn’t have any history and where I thought it would be easier for him to be who he was without judgement. I enrolled him into a performing arts magnet school and since we lived within the school district we were automatically accepted.
The other part of that story is that my husband and I over the course of 6 months went to counseling and ended up reconciling. Since at the time I was the bread-winner and we had my son in school he moved in with us and he left the first house we all moved into as a family. At the time it was going to be foreclosed and was in my husband’s name alone since I already owned another house that I bought a year before we married. Over the last 6 months the house was going to be sold on a short sale and the process was working its way through the financial institutions stellar home owner’s unit. Until the buyer backed out two weeks ago. I happen to be unemployed and not willing to jump back into a career that took me out of the home more than I liked and I’ve been dabbling in some online stuff, wasting hundreds of dollars and with no revenue producing stream for my family to show as of yet and soon to be considering other options we decided to pack it up and move back home! It’s a lovely house, very big, sits on a small pond filled with fish of every kind, we call it the “honey hole”, and we now have the ability to move back in with a new low payment and we get to keep a foreclosure off our records and retain the house. So we’ve been cleaning it up and I’ve been painting and doing some cosmetic things to it to prepare for our move next week, (which I’m not ready for).
My biggest obstacle is with school and what to do with that, do I throw my son back into the mix of students that he grew up with as a girl? We don’t have his name changed yet and while his first name could really be appropriate for both genders, the middle names, (there’s 2) show up making it grossly obvious that it belongs to a female. I’m sure it will all work out, not without some drama, and I can’t get him into the magnet program at his current school, I can’t even get him out of bed on time for school living close, imagine what getting up an hour earlier would do to our relationship. The constant nagging and threatening every morning is enough to ruin the most positive person’s attitude. So a lot going on and so much to do.
If you have any suggestions about school or ways that you’ve motivated your child to go to school please help me. I’ve taken away his computer and phone and I still don’t get the results I should and short of home schooling him, which could be disastrous, I’m at a loss. I’ve been threatening that since he can’t even get to school here that I’m not going to make any special arrangements or ask the school to send a bus all the way out there when he might not even make it half the time. Private schools aren’t always the best idea for a transgender and boarding school he would love, but who offers that? Please help!!!!
**I will resume regular posting hopefully within the next week or so after we’ve moved and hope that you’ll bear with me!**
- Transgender Student Barred from Running for Homecoming Queen (gayrights.change.org)
- Absences rampant in city schools (dispatch.com)
- Transgender Girl Denied Shot at Becoming Homecoming Queen (womensrights.change.org)